We recently picked up a sex swing.

Rye got Violet a brand new harness, so we had to break it in immediately. The battery ran out on the camera, so we could only capture the first of many orgasms. But what a good orgasm to capture.

Violet felt the urge to do some yoga. I felt the urge to film it. Which led to an even bigger urge to join in.

Not many people think of handjobs in a positive way after college. We move on to blowjobs, to intercourse, to anal, to so many other things. And then we put the handjob on the shelf, reserving it for solo time. Not so fast, we say! After getting some inspiration from another video, we're reclaiming sexy handjobs. The key? LOTS of baby oil and PLENTY of creative hand-y work.rn

When it's spring, and raining, and you've got the day off, there are few better ways to spend it than strapping it on and giving it to the man you love. The incredible song is by Cullah and can be found here: <div><span>Cold Kind of Woman Blues</span> (<a rel="cc:attributionURL" href="http://freemusicarchive.org/music/MC_Cullah/">Cullah</a>) / <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/">CC BY-SA 4.0</a></div>

Sometimes you just want to settle in for a little time with the person who knows all your secret buttons -- yourself. That's exactly what Rye does here, and for him, those buttons are EVERYWHERE. This video features an expertly handled cock, a vintage chair, anal stimulation and a bouquet of flowers. Who ever said romance was dead?

Rye worked. Violet watched the new Beyoncé videos. Rye got home. Violet was wearing his shirt. She put on red lipstick. Then put that lipstick to the test. On Rye. Thanks Beyoncé. Music: <div xmlns:cc="http://creativecommons.org/ns#" xmlns:dct="http://purl.org/dc/terms/" about="http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kellee_Maize/Aligned_Archetype/13__Kellee_Maize__Freakuency__Aligned_Archetype__FrostWirecom"><span property="dct:title">Freakuency</span> (<a rel="cc:attributionURL" property="cc:attributionName" href="http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kellee_Maize/">Kellee Maize</a>) / <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/">CC BY 3.0</a></div>

So the new D'Angelo came out, his first record in 15 years. Voodoo, his last record, has been Violet's masturbation soundtrack for the last...15 years. We listened to the new record. Violet got inspired.

It's Saturday morning. That means two things: 1. Time to make the coffee. 2. Find a nice spot in the living room to masturbate. After all, what are weekends for?

We awoke to a snowy weekend day, and like any good snow day, we could only think of one way to spend the day. HINT: It's fucking. It's totally fucking. As an added bonus, Violet demonstrates what to do when your man comes WAY too quickly.

Crocuses are blooming outside our doors. Inside our doors, spring brings with it the blossoming of unquenchable sexual desire. Lucky you, we shared.