We recently picked up a sex swing.

Not many people think of handjobs in a positive way after college. We move on to blowjobs, to intercourse, to anal, to so many other things. And then we put the handjob on the shelf, reserving it for solo time. Not so fast, we say! After getting some inspiration from another video, we're reclaiming sexy handjobs. The key? LOTS of baby oil and PLENTY of creative hand-y work.rn

It was our first day off together in a few weeks, which was cause for celebration. So we broke out the rare bourbon, toasted, and got down to business. Cheers! You may have noticed the black marks all over us. We're tired of editing around tattoos, so we did what any reasonable person would and covered them in electrical tape. The freedom we felt in shooting this one was pretty exhilarating, and we think it really shows. Music: <div><span>Enjoyable to Know</span> (<a rel="cc:attributionURL" href="http://freemusicarchive.org/music/C_Scott/">C. Scott</a>) / <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/">CC BY 3.0</a></div>

Rye got Violet a brand new harness, so we had to break it in immediately. The battery ran out on the camera, so we could only capture the first of many orgasms. But what a good orgasm to capture.

Sometimes you just want to settle in for a little time with the person who knows all your secret buttons -- yourself. That's exactly what Rye does here, and for him, those buttons are EVERYWHERE. This video features an expertly handled cock, a vintage chair, anal stimulation and a bouquet of flowers. Who ever said romance was dead?

We awoke to a snowy weekend day, and like any good snow day, we could only think of one way to spend the day. HINT: It's fucking. It's totally fucking. As an added bonus, Violet demonstrates what to do when your man comes WAY too quickly.

So the new D'Angelo came out, his first record in 15 years. Voodoo, his last record, has been Violet's masturbation soundtrack for the last...15 years. We listened to the new record. Violet got inspired.

Hey, it's been a while. In the time we've been gone, we've moved, started a business, and basically changed everything. But we're back, and happy to be. One of the better life improvements is our fireplace, which is the tits. We hang in front of it a lot. And the hanging leads to... other stuff.

Say you find yourself with a mostly plan-free Saturday. You're now faced with a number of options about how to spend the morning, especially in NYC. In our case, the morning goes as follows: Lounge around in bed, mostly naked, check social media, snuggle. Eventually, one of you feels motivated enough to get some iced coffee and once coffee is in the picture, anything is possible... By anything, we mean sex stuff. A lot of it, and for a while. Once satisfied, it's time to eat something because we suddenly realize we're STARVING. Music: 1974 Xenia Tornado by Fields of Ohio <div><span>1974 Xenia Tornado</span> (<a rel="cc:attributionURL" href="http://fieldsofohio.bandcamp.com/">Fields of Ohio</a>) / <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/">CC BY-SA 3.0</a></div>

Rye worked. Violet watched the new Beyoncé videos. Rye got home. Violet was wearing his shirt. She put on red lipstick. Then put that lipstick to the test. On Rye. Thanks Beyoncé. Music: <div xmlns:cc="http://creativecommons.org/ns#" xmlns:dct="http://purl.org/dc/terms/" about="http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kellee_Maize/Aligned_Archetype/13__Kellee_Maize__Freakuency__Aligned_Archetype__FrostWirecom"><span property="dct:title">Freakuency</span> (<a rel="cc:attributionURL" property="cc:attributionName" href="http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kellee_Maize/">Kellee Maize</a>) / <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/">CC BY 3.0</a></div>

It's Saturday morning. That means two things: 1. Time to make the coffee. 2. Find a nice spot in the living room to masturbate. After all, what are weekends for?