We recently picked up a sex swing.

So the new D'Angelo came out, his first record in 15 years. Voodoo, his last record, has been Violet's masturbation soundtrack for the last...15 years. We listened to the new record. Violet got inspired.

Sometimes you just want to settle in for a little time with the person who knows all your secret buttons -- yourself. That's exactly what Rye does here, and for him, those buttons are EVERYWHERE. This video features an expertly handled cock, a vintage chair, anal stimulation and a bouquet of flowers. Who ever said romance was dead?

Rye worked. Violet watched the new Beyoncé videos. Rye got home. Violet was wearing his shirt. She put on red lipstick. Then put that lipstick to the test. On Rye. Thanks Beyoncé. Music: <div xmlns:cc="http://creativecommons.org/ns#" xmlns:dct="http://purl.org/dc/terms/" about="http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kellee_Maize/Aligned_Archetype/13__Kellee_Maize__Freakuency__Aligned_Archetype__FrostWirecom"><span property="dct:title">Freakuency</span> (<a rel="cc:attributionURL" property="cc:attributionName" href="http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kellee_Maize/">Kellee Maize</a>) / <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/">CC BY 3.0</a></div>

Not many people think of handjobs in a positive way after college. We move on to blowjobs, to intercourse, to anal, to so many other things. And then we put the handjob on the shelf, reserving it for solo time. Not so fast, we say! After getting some inspiration from another video, we're reclaiming sexy handjobs. The key? LOTS of baby oil and PLENTY of creative hand-y work.rn

After venturing to the Farmers' Market, we decided the best way to spend this unexpectedly chilly day was to be inside. Without clothes. So we picked up a camera and played around until Rye said, "I'm going to eat your pussy until you come, and you film it." And he did. And I did. And then some.

Say you find yourself with a mostly plan-free Saturday. You're now faced with a number of options about how to spend the morning, especially in NYC. In our case, the morning goes as follows: Lounge around in bed, mostly naked, check social media, snuggle. Eventually, one of you feels motivated enough to get some iced coffee and once coffee is in the picture, anything is possible... By anything, we mean sex stuff. A lot of it, and for a while. Once satisfied, it's time to eat something because we suddenly realize we're STARVING. Music: 1974 Xenia Tornado by Fields of Ohio <div><span>1974 Xenia Tornado</span> (<a rel="cc:attributionURL" href="http://fieldsofohio.bandcamp.com/">Fields of Ohio</a>) / <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/">CC BY-SA 3.0</a></div>

Hey, it's been a while. In the time we've been gone, we've moved, started a business, and basically changed everything. But we're back, and happy to be. One of the better life improvements is our fireplace, which is the tits. We hang in front of it a lot. And the hanging leads to... other stuff.

If anal is taboo, then pegging is idiotically so. For us, it's always just been a part of a healthy, happy and hot sex life. Allow us to demonstrate, we think we'll win you over.rn

Crocuses are blooming outside our doors. Inside our doors, spring brings with it the blossoming of unquenchable sexual desire. Lucky you, we shared.

It's Saturday morning. That means two things: 1. Time to make the coffee. 2. Find a nice spot in the living room to masturbate. After all, what are weekends for?