Starting My Christmas Break

What a night. Still cloaked in my raven costume, I felt the thrill pulse through me, anticipation fluttering like wings against my skin. I could barely wait for him to draw me close, his hands firm yet gentle as he lifted me high, freeing me to soar under the midnight sky. Together, we danced beneath the stars, our shadows blending in the starlight, silent whispers shared only with the night. In his arms, I became weightless, powerful—captivated by the mystery of it all.

I wanted to treat myself by getting out of the bedroom and show myself some self-love under the Christmas lights. It felt incredibly freeing to be in an open space and focus on me, but also freaking naughty.

It's a gorgeous Sunday afternoon. I feel my need, desire, and loneliness pulling my thoughts away from my to-do list and back into the bedroom. I don't have time for this, the windows are open, what if someone hears? Honestly, though...I don't mind if they do. There is nothing wrong with a little self-pleasure. I don't want to just run through the motions and I decide to slip into a little lacy, green one-piece, surprised how it melts like butter, conforming to my body. With a chagrinned smile, I realize the cup size on my lingerie is much too small for my new breasts. A good problem to have, I muse. I turn the camera on, moving in front of its eye, I'm far too critical of my body but seeing the dark green lace caressing my body, I'm a little tickled to enjoy myself. Feeling confident, I decided to take things a step further and bring out my dildo. I rarely play with him...he just brings the intense longings for a partner to the surface. I struggle to fully leave my body and immerse into the blissful release of an orgasm. But not today. Deep breath...this is about me enjoying myself.

I was all riled up after spending my morning engaged in some sexy conversations with a couple of very hot gentlemen. I raced home for a quickie over my lunch break. While I could have used a friend...or two, it felt amazing!

It was one of those nights were all the stars were just aligned and our wild passion had us trying a new toy!

I love this video because for 17 perfect minutes, I do not see a single mom, fretfully worried over her kids. I do not see a full-time college student with essays floating around her head. I do not see a stressed-out employee who cries every day at work. I do not see a weary body reaching with a milestone birthday approaching. Rather, for 17 wonderful minutes, I see a woman, utterly twitterpated, full of life, passion, and lust. I see a boyfriend's raw vigor and the adoration pouring from his face. So...what do you see?

Jack had to take a phone call, so I grabbed my laptop and worked from the bedroom. Was this a good idea? It depends on your perspective.

It's Saturday night, and if I'm honest, my heart is a little heavy. I've tried all the things—worked out, stayed busy, checked off the boxes of self-care—but some nights sadness lingers anyway. So tonight, I'm choosing not to run from it. I'm choosing to sit quietly with myself, offer myself a little grace, and practice the often difficult art of self-love. Healing isn't always beautiful. Sometimes it looks like a woman alone on a Saturday night, loving herself enough to stay.

It's a lonely Monday, and my heart aches. So tell me... will you pretend you're on FaceTime with me tonight? Keep me company while the stars burn themselves across the sky? Tell me what you want. Flirt with me a little. Make me laugh. Stay up far too late with me. Because tonight, I'd much rather lose track of time with someone delicious than be alone with my thoughts.

My first orgasm was achieved using a showerhead and I've never forgotten the power of that first orgasm as it coursed through my body. Feeling nostalgic, I slipped into my tub for some quality me-time.