My First Me Time

So I'm a work, bored... and my wife informs me that she's not feeling well. So even though she wants to jump me and I'm ultrahorny from the head she gave me last time... no magic is happening. What IS a boy to do?! Use 2 hands, that's what. Perfect math. 2 hands. 2 orgasms back to back. Enjoy!

Digging through old 🧦drawers clearing out space for our new sex room, and I find this thing. I honestly forgot I ordered this or why I put it in the drawer in the first place. Well, it turns out 🍆'one size fits all' doesn't apply here. 🙄🤨 Yes, I'm too big. Without ego, you can see: I'm not exactly the smallest man. This poor thing struggled to keep up upon receipt - hence being banished to the drawer. *shrug* Alright then... let's see if it still works. *spoiler: it doesn't* Enjoy yourselves, even if your toy breaks!

I'm making new discoveries every day! Go ahead and laugh but... every since I saw the Suicide Girls shower on camera... I've ALWAYS wanted to try this! So I bought this tripod that's more like a set of tentacles, really. First time for everything, right? Let's see if it works!

I have been quite diligent in my 🏋🏾‍♀️gym-going💪🏾. I’ve learned that if you want your 🚴🏾body to let you torture it into shape, then you have to 😈pamper it 😈and enjoy it when you get the chance. 🤷🏾‍♂️Sometimes you eat dessert first… Enjoy yourselves, everyone!

This is a quick experiment with my guy-brator the Hot Octopus. The damn thing keeps falling off, and I got tired of having to find medical tape, so I did a little arts and crafts. Cue the MacGuyver music: hot glue gun, velcro, and elastic. If I say 'strap on' it'll mean something different, but 😅... anyway, enjoy the test drive and ENJOY YOURSELF!

I made up my mind that I was going to do away with the anonymous and 😎OWN 🤩 the way I Make Love, Not Porn🥳. Made a speech and everything, and 🤷🏾‍♂️forgot to check the sound. 🤦🏾‍♂️ But, it was a good 🍆session anyway, so I'm posting it as is. Enjoy yourselves, everyone!!

I'm experimenting with new toys and camera angles. Shout out to the Pelvic People and their OhNuts. These things are life savers. Had a nice quiet little sesh... hope it helps you be happy as well

After carrying 12 bottles of water through a theme park in the 100 degree Florida heat... your damn right I'm taking some time for myself. Everyone else is asleep...

This one was right after another session I did earlier. I don't know about you but I can cum two or three times in a row like it's nothing. I left the camera up and just got what I needed. 🤷🏾‍♂️I didn’t think there was enough but 😈let’s see if this works… sometimes you just gotta get one more

Have any of you had trouble keeping the Hot Octopuss Solo Lux on your 🍆 while 'in session'? 😨Mine keeps falling off! 😩 If so, I have devised a way to set it and forget it. All you need is a little toilet tissue and some medical tape. Trust me. I hope it helps someone out there, and as always 😈ENJOY😈 YOURSELF!