Solo Sex on the Balcony

it's been a hot minute since i've shared on here and i figured nothing like a nice afternoon quickie to get the blood pumping and to feel like myself again. this is a pretty typical, no-muss-no-fuss-git-er-done masturbation sesh. satisfyer does the trick errrr time. the great thing about #RealWorldSex is that it's real. so real, as you'll see a few minutes into this bad boy. the toots almost stopped me from sharing this but then i realized - sex is funny. farts are funny. bodies make noises. if we can't laugh at ourselves, what are we even doing?! what would you like to see me do next 😈

i recently wrote a blog post for the MLNP blog and was recording a video of me reading it for social media when i got a little playful (horny) and decided to keep the video creation going. i recently started a full-time job and haven't been making the time for self-pleasure that i usually do and this was a good reminder to do just that. besides, this sofa is MADE for making love not porn, wouldn't you agree?!

CW: suicide -- this session felt especially emotional, because i was having some distressing mental health side effects as a result of going back on the pill. i'm prone to suicidal ideation anyway and this was a bad day for it. i used my support system and carved out some time for me to do my two favourite things: smoke weed and masturbate. the visible shift from beginning to end, from in my head to deep in my body to an emotional release reminds me that where there is pain, there is potential for pleasure. after orgasm the weight of pain melted away and i felt free, if just for a moment. my favourite part of this video is how noticeably i shift from a place of discomfort and not being in the moment to total relaxation and letting go. orgasms can be quite emotionally intense for me as someone with chronic pelvic pain. letting go physically often triggers an emotional release too that i've been ashamed of in the past. even though i'm working through that, my instinct was still to cut the final scene. in the end i left it, because aftercare is so important in solo sex too. besides, this IS my #realworldsex. i hope you enjoy.

i haven't been feeling myself lately - lots of chronic pain, not a lot of what makes me feel good. last night i did some naked yoga after a shower with zero expectations and connected more with my body than i have in some time. insecurities, jealousy, pain - all things that prevent us from being in the moment. giving myself the time and space to move my body in ways that felt intuitive or eased pain took me somewhere i wasn't expecting to go - into myself. focusing on breath and movement and sensation took me out of my head and deep into my body. let's just say it's worth watching to the end ;-) hope you enjoy my first vid, xx