The Sounds of Passion

Newly divorced and learning about my sexuality and my own self pleasure.

It was one of those nights were all the stars were just aligned and our wild passion had us trying a new toy!

It's a gorgeous Sunday afternoon. I feel my need, desire, and loneliness pulling my thoughts away from my to-do list and back into the bedroom. I don't have time for this, the windows are open, what if someone hears? Honestly, though...I don't mind if they do. There is nothing wrong with a little self-pleasure. I don't want to just run through the motions and I decide to slip into a little lacy, green one-piece, surprised how it melts like butter, conforming to my body. With a chagrinned smile, I realize the cup size on my lingerie is much too small for my new breasts. A good problem to have, I muse. I turn the camera on, moving in front of its eye, I'm far too critical of my body but seeing the dark green lace caressing my body, I'm a little tickled to enjoy myself. Feeling confident, I decided to take things a step further and bring out my dildo. I rarely play with him...he just brings the intense longings for a partner to the surface. I struggle to fully leave my body and immerse into the blissful release of an orgasm. But not today. Deep breath...this is about me enjoying myself.

Just got home… still dressed, still composed… but I couldn’t ignore the insistent, gnawing ache between my thighs. I stole a quiet little moment, but I had to be very, very careful not to make a sound… Do you think I was quiet, or are your eyes focused somewhere lower...

I was all riled up after spending my morning engaged in some sexy conversations with a couple of very hot gentlemen. I raced home for a quickie over my lunch break. While I could have used a friend...or two, it felt amazing!

It's Saturday night, and if I'm honest, my heart is a little heavy. I've tried all the things—worked out, stayed busy, checked off the boxes of self-care—but some nights sadness lingers anyway. So tonight, I'm choosing not to run from it. I'm choosing to sit quietly with myself, offer myself a little grace, and practice the often difficult art of self-love. Healing isn't always beautiful. Sometimes it looks like a woman alone on a Saturday night, loving herself enough to stay.

Just a little witchy fun this afternoon.

Jack had to take a phone call, so I grabbed my laptop and worked from the bedroom. Was this a good idea? It depends on your perspective.

The function with friends was delightful, and we returned to the house at nearly midnight, filled with joy. I was still feeling frisky and flirtatious in my little white sundress. Not ready to sleep, I decided to surprise Jack with a bit of naughty fun before going to sleep. The thrill of anticipation for his reaction was so intense that I was rather impatient for him to finish his evening preparations, but it was so worth it!

One last time. We were both feeling a little sad as I packed my bags. Jack had been watching sedately from the couch as I sorted my belongings. A week was a long time to be apart. In this modern age, a week doesn't seem that long with the advancements we have in technology, but after spending two weeks cuddling every night, a week apart was going to seem like a month. The thought of leaving him on such a sad note, with my bags waiting by the door, was unbearable. But my love for Jack was so deep that I was determined to change his mood, to give him one last time, knowing the emotional impact of our separation.